


Drinking Jack

by youre_a_wizard_sammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Drinking, Drunk Driving, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youre_a_wizard_sammy/pseuds/youre_a_wizard_sammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have been broken up for a while, and Dean isn't handling it well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drinking Jack

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not joking about major character death. This is an extremely depressing, heartbreaking fic. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Dean rolled over onto his back, wiped his hands over his face, and huffed in frustration. Sunlight was slowly filtering through his blinds, filling his bedroom with a gray-blue glow. This was the second night in a row that he hadn't slept at all, and in the nights before then, sleep had only come after excessive amounts of whiskey. He was so damn tired and irritated that he just wanted to scream. But instead, he got up and shuffled out of his room in his boxer briefs and t-shirt, and flopped onto the couch. Maybe some shitty reality tv show could bore him to sleep.  
After 3 episodes, wide awake, he reached for the bottle of Jack Daniel's on the coffee table. Fuck being sober. I need to sleep. When he opened the bottle to take a swig, he noticed a bracelet sitting on the table. It was made of wooden beads that were just smaller than a dime and varied in shades of brown. It belonged to Castiel.  
Fuck. He didn't want to think about Cas anymore. He'd spent so much damn time thinking about him for so long, and lately he'd been doing a pretty good job of keeping him out of his mind. The bracelet was one of the few things that Cas had left when he moved out. Well, Dean didn't quite know if you could call it moving when you're throwing things in suit cases at 3am and pulling out of the driveway in tears. The only other things that Castiel had left was a maroon coffee mug in the kitchen cabinet, and a White Snake t-shirt on Dean's dresser. Though, the t-shirt was technically Dean's; he had given it to Cas to wear. Cas would never have worn a classic rock tee on his own. He generally wore henleys or thermal shirts that were a bit too large and showed his collar bones.  
Ugh. Dean didn't want to think about any of this. He just wanted sleep. He took a shot of the whiskey. Then another, and then two more. He looked at his watch. 9:12am. It was Saturday, which meant that Cas was probably just now waking up and making a pot of coffee. Cas was staying with his good friend, Gabriel, for the time being.  
Without thinking about it, Dean went to his room and put on the first pair of jeans and t-shirt that he could find, along with his boots. As he walked out the door, he grabbed the bottle of Jack, took another swig, and decided to just take it with him. The early morning was nippy, and Dean thought for a moment to grab his jacket, but as he half turned around to go back in the door, he tripped over his foot and almost fell off of the porch. When he picked himself up, he forgot about the jacket and went to the Impala.  
Turning Baby's engine on felt like home. He relished in the sound and the vibration for a minute, letting the car warm up before he pulled out of the drive and headed down the road.  
He knew where Gabriel's house was; he had been there a few times for parties (Gabe threw amazing parties at any possible opportunity). It only took him about 20 minutes to get there, considering he was going about 10 miles over the speed limit. He decided to park on the street, a couple houses down; the sound of the 67 Impala was pretty recognizable. He took another shot before clumsilly getting out of car and staggering up to the door.

Cas was startled awake by the knock on the door. In his disoriented state, he pulled himself off of the couch and started making his way to the door. Who the hell is here this early? He checked his watch. Oh. Usually he was up by now, but Gabe had taken him out for drinks last night and he was kind of hungover.  
He opened the door to find the last person that he wanted to see. A bleary-eyed, frumpy-looking Dean, swaying back and forth enough that he might fall off the stoop at any moment. Dean had dark circles under his eyes and the smell of whiskey was wafting off of him, reminding Cas of his alcohol consumption last night and making his stomach turn. He looked pretty startled when he locked eyes with Cas, as if he suddenly forgot why he had come.  
“Dean,” Cas said, his voice coming off more surprised than he wanted. “W- what the hell? What are you doing here?”  
Dean suddenly looked very embarrassed and guilty, “I just- I just wanted to see you. See how you're doing.. I guess.”  
“You wanted to 'see how I'm doing' at 9:30 in the morning, drunk off your ass?”  
“Wh- I'm. I'm not drunk.”  
“Dean, I know when you're drunk.”  
“I just had like- a few shots okay. But I just I need to talk to you. Need to tell you-”  
“Tell me what, Dean? What could you possibly have to say to me?”  
“I want to tell you that.. that I'm s- I'm sorry.” Dean was looking at the ground now, his hands in his pockets.  
“Go home, Dean.”  
“Cas just listen okay, I'm sorry! And yeah I've been drinking and I probably shouldn't be here but it's just- it just really sucks without you.”  
“Oh, so you're lonely now? Why don't you just go find one of your floozy girls to keep you company?”  
Dean took a small step back, as if Cas had physically pushed him away with that statement. “Cas I don't- she didn't mean anything to me. I was drunk and I just- You're the only person I want to be with.” He took a breathe and looked up into Castiel's perfect blue eyes. “You're my whole world.”  
“Obviously I'm not. It wasn't like it was a one-time thing, Dean. Who knows how many times it happened! You kept saying you'd change and I waited and waited and I gave you so many second chances and you blew it, alright?” Cas was yelling by this point, “You fucking blew it. You broke my heart, over and over, and I don't want to see you any more! We're done, Dean! I want you to leave and I don't ever want to see you again!”

 

The anger in Cas' voice hit Dean like a punch straight to the gut. He wiped his eyes so Cas didn't see the tears that were threatening to roll down his cheeks. He didn't say a word as he turned around and quickly made his way across the lawn and back to the Impala. He heard Cas shut the door to the house about the same time as Dean shut the door to the car. As soon as he was safe in the car, he grabbed the bottle and took a few large gulps. He took one last glance at the house before starting the engine and whipping the car around to head back home.  
He had Black Sabbath blasting and the road was looking blurry through his teary, sleep-deprived eyes. He was still about 10 minutes away from home when he tipped the bottle up to finish it off. When he lowered it back down, he was somehow in the opposite lane of traffic and a pick up truck was headed straight for him. The truck honked and Dean swerved out of the way at the last second. However, he over-corrected and veered completely off the road and into a steep ditch. The Impala flipped and landed upside-down.

 

Later that evening, Cas was cooking dinner and Gabriel came into the kitchen.  
“Hey, hope you aren't planning on going out tonight, Gabe, 'cause I'm making stir-fry and it's almost ready.”  
“Okay, um, Cas, I need to talk to you. Let's sit down.” Gabe wasn't acting his normal, suave and lighthearted self.  
“What's wrong?”  
“Cas, listen. I just got off the phone with Sam-”  
“Dean's brother, Sam?”  
“Yeah. Um, there was an accident this morning. They found Dean's Impala not too far from here. Apparently he'd been drinking, and ran off into a ditch.” Cas' breath stopped. He could hear his heart beating in his ears. Gabe reached out and put is hand on top of Castiel's. “The car flipped over. Dean... um, he didn't make it. Sam thought that I should be the one to tell you. I'm so sorry, Cas.”  
Cas' breath started coming in shallow gasps. His hands came up to cover his mouth and he began to sob uncontrollably. Dean. How could this be happening? This can't be real. He can't be gone. I just saw him this morning. Oh, god. This morning. The guilt came over him like a tsunami. I yelled at him and sent him away, completely wasted. I should have just listened to him or let him in or at least not let him drive. This is all my fault.  
“This is all my fault,” He said through his sobs.  
“What?” Gabe asked, started. “No, no buddy it's not at all your fault, you guys broke up like 2 weeks ago. It's gonna be alright, Cas, you just gotta breathe.”  
“No- no, you don't- he came- here- he came this morning-” Cas' words were so broken between his gasps that Gabriel could barely understand him.  
“He came here this morning?”  
Cas proceeded to explain to Gabriel the events preceding the car wreck.  
Gabe moved Cas over to the couch and got him a blanket and some water. “Cas, I know you feel like this is your fault but it's not. He broke your heart, man. You were just trying to do what;s best for yourself, like I've been telling you to do this whole time. Obviously you've both been taking the break up really badly. But it's not your fault, Cas.”  
Cas fell over onto Gabe's shoulder and Gabe moved to put his arm around Cas, pulling him in and letting Cas rest his head on Gabe's chest. “I can't believe this. It can't be real. It hurts so much.”  
“I know, buddy, I know it's so bad right now. And it'll be bad for a while. But it won't hurt forever. It'll be alright, Cas. You'll be alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure if I should include Cas getting the news or if I should just end it with the crash. Would it have been better that way?


End file.
